Can I stop for this day, this afternoon, or at the least this hour?
Can I stop listening to the distracting business of the outside world so that I might be able to hear my within?
The many, soft cries, sudden uproars, young child unaddressed questions and fears?
Can I stop today, at least for a day? At least for an afternoon or an hour?
It is that or I won’t be able to restrain myself from throwing up…
the overload of atrocities that are still happening out there. That I have chosen not to turn my back on. Not anymore. Choosing instead to induce the labour of fresh, new, shapeshifting narratives and practices by decolonizing myself…
from throwing up…
the harsh and very troubling year I had. Falling apart from the exhaustion of a newly diagnose third chronic disease; the jumping out of a cliff of my brother who was suffering from mental illness for too long. Holding tight, resisting and creating, so that I would not collapse. Not again.
Not anymore, if it is in my power to make it happen.
I know that I cannot know that, but until I will be defeated I will try. And try. And persist. And again.
So I am stopping because today anyway, whatever I want to do, wherever I want to go, I am pulled back within, where the light is.
I am stopping to rest. To breath. And to care.
Of my/our body/lands, heart/cultures, mind/worldviews.
And as the Sun is turning around, giving us the appearance of stillness, I will do the same.
I will stop and dance from within.