I persist

In the words and preoccupations of the day, as I am revisiting how the Heart Sutra translates itself within me, the phrase that comes to my heart is I persist (see my post with the conventional definition of the mantra).

I persist in the face of worldwide insanity, gross ignorance, denial, arrogance in such a crucial time for humanity, as well as negligence, dissociation, unending discontentment, bullying in my closest circles, by engaging with inspiring, dedicated peers and mentors to resist, disrupt, care and take care, rethink and redesign the ins and outs of our common humanity and shared reality.

I persist even though I didn’t get the Grace, joyful presence and awe with All there is, that I was writing about in this same post mentioned above. In fact, not because I didn’t get the Grace I wished for, but because I tought it would come with the end of my health problems. As silly as it sounds, especially from someone suffering from three chronic diseases (fibromyalgia, multiple chemical sensibility and ulcerative colitis), way too often, I found myself caught up with this unconscious me still believing that I will wake up one day with no traces of  any lasting effects from my long term problems. All by magic.

I persist as I take the time to sit with those perspectives while inviting spaciousness and inner silence around their anxious, chatty, and sometimes overwhelming presences. As I become aware that they won’t disappear by magic, they never will, but by practicing and practicing, and building on that long term dedicated practice, I will create a grounded, mindful, compassionate pathways for me to move into lovely or shadowy moments, periods or lifetimes.

∞ ∞ ∞

On the subject of long term dedication versus magic, here’s a lecture given by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche during the first summer session of the Naropa Institute, in July 1974.